Dr Ellen
I want to thank you in advance for reading this Blog. I know it’s going to cost you quite a bit to do that. I’m talking about your time.
The way I see it, your time is so much more valuable than your money will ever be. Do you know why? Because when you spend or lose money, you can always earn more, but when you spend a day, you will always have one less day to spend and you can never get it back. I don’t care how influential, educated, good looking, rich or poor you are, we all had 24 hours yesterday and will have 24 hours today.
Life is not a dress rehearsal. We don’t know how long we’re here for. So, since we’re
not going to get more time, the question we should be asking ourselves is, “How can I get more out of the time I have right now?” and most importantly, “How can I get more out of the time I spend with my mate?”
I don’t believe that anything happens by chance. I think that if you saw or heard me on TV or radio, a friend recommended that you read this site, or it just caught your eye in the bookstore, there is definitely a reason for you to read it.
I believe that this site has been brought to your attention because you are supposed to
find out just how easy it is to put fun, romance, excitement, communication and passion in your relationship; how easy it is to turn a boring, ho hum relationship into a passionate love affair; how easy it is to take a relationship that’s on the verge of divorce and bring back the feelings you had when you first fell in love.
I haven’t been called “The Fairy Godmother of Relationships” for nothing! In just the few short hours it takes to read this website, the magic wand of knowledge will touch your life. As you apply the principles in this blog, you will see immediate results. The changes you seek will not take years, months or weeks. In 24 hours, you can have the relationship you’ve always dreamed about. You can be the couple that everybody else envies.
When you are finished reading this blog, you’ll wonder why experts have made this subject so complicated, when it is really so simple.
Throughout the blog, I will share letters I have received from ordinary people who’ve had extraordinary results with the principles I teach. I have not changed punctuation, grammar, spelling, or sentence structure because I want you to read the letter as it was written, from the heart. I have changed their names to protect their privacy.
It is my hope that the next letter I get is from you, letting me know the changes that have taken place in your life as a result of putting the information you receive into action.
INTRODUCTION
THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING TO ME
When I heard the surgeon’s words, my first thought was, “No. He’s wrong. This can’t be happening to me.” Grasping for straws, I thought, “Maybe I misunderstood. But I knew I hadn’t misunderstood. I knew he had really said, “I’m so sorry, honey. It’s cancer.”
Wild and uncontrollable panic seized me as the words began to sink in. I couldn’t breathe and my chest hurt so badly I felt like I had been run over by a truck. The blood drained from my head and I was afraid I was going to pass out in my chair.
“Oh, God”, I cried. “Please say this isn’t true! What am I going to tell Steve?”
My husband was in the outer waiting room engrossed in conversation with a stranger, completely unaware that what I just heard felt like my death sentence. Just minutes before, I had been joking and laughing with the doctor, confident that the biopsy was a waste of time and money.
What would I now say to the man I had known since I was a teenager.
MY LOVE STORY
We met in high school and fell madly in love. I was 16 and in my junior year and he was 17 and a senior. We were quite a team, spending just about every waking moment together. I helped him with his English homework and he helped me get through Math. Our parents thought we were too young to be this serious about one another, so we listened to them and ended up separating and going to different colleges.
Although we both dated other people in college, neither of us could ever find anyone who could even come close to evoking the feelings we had for each other. So in our senior year, we got engaged and were married after we graduated.
Our life together had been far from perfect. We had experienced bankruptcy, tragedy, disappointments and loss, but never a life threatening illness until this point.
Here it was 1991 and both of my books, LIGHT HIS FIRE and LIGHT HER FIRE had become New York Times Best Sellers. I was on top of the world. Then, at the height of my career, I was diagnosed with an advanced stage of breast cancer and my world was turned upside down.
One day I was living a dream life and the next day I was starring in a nightmare that wouldn’t go away. At 47 years old, I had to have a mastectomy, six months of chemotherapy and was told that I would be fighting for my life. At best I had a 30% chance of survival. How lucky I was to find an oncologist who felt that I wasn’t a statistic. After completing all of my treatment, a change in diet and lifestyle followed and I grew healthier every day.
In 1993, I wrote “Is There Sex After Kids?” to show parents that they could be lovers too. It was published later that year and life was beginning to feel normal again.
Two years later, my husband and I decided to go on a vacation to Hawaii. I remember standing out on the balcony overlooking the Pacific Ocean and feeling the warm breezes on my face. I looked up and said, “God, thank you so much for letting me be cancer free. I feel so lucky to be alive.” Little did I know that my world would come crashing down a second time.
Shortly after our return, in February of 1995, a routine 6 month checkup uncovered a lump that turned out to be a recurrence of breast cancer. My oncologist felt that my only chance for survival was a bone marrow transplant. “No this cannot be happening a second time”, I said with tears streaming down my face. I came home and began screaming over and over, “Oh God, what did I do to deserve this?” Was this the end? Was I going to die from this disease?
Would I not see my kids marry or have children? Would my life with my husband be over? How could he cope without me being around? The first bout with cancer took so much out of me. I was petrified that my 50 year old body that had been
through so much already, would just give out. More drugs, more chemotherapy followed. Besides all the physical preparation, I was determined to prepare myself mentally for World War 111.
In June of 1995, I entered Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach, California for my bone
marrow transplant. When I was in the hospital lying there in isolation, with no hair, no eye brows and no eye lashes, hooked up to life support, I desperately wanted to live. I had arranged to have a blown up poster size picture of my family brought to my room so that it was the first thing I saw every time I opened my eyes. It was my reason for living.
I looked forward to my husband visiting me everyday and greeting me with a kiss. Those kisses had a powerful impact on me. No matter how sick or weak I was, I always felt his kiss breathing new life back into me. His kisses were so loving, so tender, always
reminding me of how much I was loved. Here I was feeling so ugly, so useless and so helpless and he still wanted to kiss me. I had to gain back my strength so I could love him back in the same way.
I believed in the power of prayer. So, when anyone asked what could they do for me, I always said, “PRAY.” All those prayers must have worked. It was prayer, a devoted husband, loving children and good friends that all contributed to my speedy recovery.
Having to face my own mortality has made me realize what a fragile and unpredictable gift life is and how lucky I am to be here to enjoy it. In the beginning I used to pray for a miracle and then I realized that every day was a miracle.
BEING OF MOST BENEFIT
I also remember praying to God that if I got through this, I would dedicate the rest of my life to sharing with as many people as I could the joy of giving and receiving love. It truly is the only thing that matters, and I believe it is the main reason why we are put on this earth.
One day out of the blue I received a phone call from Mega Systems International asking me to do an infomercial. It would be a 30 minute interview where I would be able to
explain the benefits of my audio programs. I agreed, never dreaming that I would be able to touch so many lives through this medium. Boy, did I underestimate the power of my prayer!
My audio and video programs, LIGHT HIS FIRE, LIGHT HER FIRE and LIGHT YOUR FIRE have, to date, grossed millions of dollars. The way I see it, so many people prayed for me that God must have said, “Okay, I’ll give her good health, let her help people with their relationships, and I’ll throw in a little money as well.” I feel so blessed to have a career that I feel so passionate about and to have the strength to be able to create these life changing programs.
TOO LATE OR JUST IN TIME
I have received an incredible amount of mail from all over the United States and many countries throughout the world. Most of the letters fall into two categories; either letting me know that they found out about my work too late or thanking me for the help they’ve received.
For the ones that ask, “Where were you one, two or three years ago when I really needed you? “. I can only say, that when the student is ready the teacher appears. Their letters reveal frustration, heartache and pain. For me, it is very upsetting to know that I wasn’t able to save their past relationship but I do know that they now have the information they need to make their next one work. Many have agreed that they never would have listened to me if they hadn’t gone through the pain of losing the one they love.
In the following letter sent by Joe, he acknowledges that he is a man who just didn’t get the information in time.
I’ve just finished listening to your audio program, “Light Her Fire” which I thoroughly enjoyed, but it made me sick. Let me explain. Almost everything you say to do, I did the opposite. What a Jerk I’ve been. I just sent for your tapes to try and find out why my relationships just don’t work for the long haul. I’m 46 years old, have a good job, am active in sports, a good dancer and women say I’m nice looking and have a good sense of humor. I’ve been married twice and both times my wives left me for other men!
What’s wrong with me? Well now I know at least some of the reasons why my last marriage didn’t work.
Here’s just a few reasons.
I didn’t do the little things like call her during the day to see how she was doing and to tell her how much I loved her. I didn’t bring flowers home once in awhile or get her a card when it wasn’t a special occasion. I never made a big deal about her birthday or anniversaries.
It was always a pain to go out and get something. I always got the first thing I came across and she knew it. I did not put her first in my life. My friends and my job came before her. I always looked like a slob on the weekends. I never shaved or wore anything nice. Since I shaved everyday for work, I figured it wasn’t necessary.
Wrong!! And last but not least, we had sex, we never made love. I was very selfish and when I got what I wanted, I was finished. I’m surprised they stayed with me as long as they did.
But you’ve taught me what I need to do. The next woman I go out with is going to be really lucky to have found me. I’m going to treat her right and keep treating her right. I don’t want to end up alone. I want to make someone feel special and feel loved myself. Thank you for showing me the way.
The ones with gratitude are filled with excitement and wonderful testimonials of changed lives. They are nothing short of miraculous.
Here is a letter from Jeannie which proves that it’s never to late to fall in love all over again.
A little over a month ago, my husband and I (married 13 years) had decided to call it “quits”. It had always been said by family and friends that we had the perfect marriage. However, the truth was we were simply pretending to be who everyone else perceived us to be. We were great actors!
So, after several appointments with a Marriage Counselor, we felt that our inability to communicate was hopeless. We really tried, but kept finding ourselves back at square one. I know now that it was just a lot of “psychobabble” and theory nothing that we
could actually sink our teeth into.
The day after we seriously discussed a divorce, I saw a brief portion of your interview on cable with Peter Tomarken. I called my husband into the room and said,
“Listen to this.” When it was over, we agreed to order your program, Light Her Fire and Light His Fire. I felt hope for the first time in several years. I knew at that moment that my husband still cared enough to try…that he still loved me and I still loved him.
Luckily, your program arrived in just a couple of weeks. Although we have not yet completed your program, I had to take a moment and write this letter. In just a little over a week, my marriage of 13 years has been transformed. The change was almost instantaneous. Just the other night (one of our date nights) at a restaurant, he reached across the table, took my hand in his, and through tears he said, “I just want you to know how much you mean to me and how much I love you..” Just as you say on the program, it didn’t matter that something in your program might have prompted him to say.
In just a few days, I have already sent him flowers to his office (which also made him cry), left him dirty (love) messages on his voice mail at work, paid him a different compliment each and every day, and tonight (a Tuesday night) my mom is keeping our little girl just so that we can have dinner and a night alone. I can’t wait!
Now you know why I never listen to someone who says that they are on the verge of divorce. Here is a letter from Susan that shows you that no matter how bad you think it is, there is always hope.
I just can’t tell you how much your audios have helped me. it has changed my whole life. I’ve learned so much about relationships. Let me tell you a little about myself. I’m 25 years old with 3 kids, a 6 year old girl, a 4 year old boy and we recently adopted my 13 year old niece. We’ve been married 6 years and we were almost going to get a divorce. Things seemed so hopeless and not worth the effort. he was cold and selfish and there was no romance in our marriage at all.
My birthday would just come and go. We’d even fight on my birthday because I would always be so hurt that he didn’t even acknowledge it was my day. Well, I’ve come a long way since then. I feel as though the shields have been lifted from my eyes. It feels so great! ! I follow your tapes step by step, and I’m a happier person and my marriage is better than ever. I’m not so stressed all the time and like you said, my love cup is full all the time now.
Ellen, there is so much to tell you, but I don’t think you have time to read a blog right now. I do have one story to tell you from the program.
Romance is a Decision.
Well, I put something sexy on and lit a few candles with soft music in the background and I sprayed some of my perfume in the room. (by the way I sent all the kids to my dad’s house). My husband was in the shower while I did all this so when he came into the room his eyes almost popped out of their sockets. Boy, was he ready I just had
to thank you for your help. When the last tape was over, I felt like a friendship had ended. I have to say I miss talking to you.
Thank you with all the sincerity in the world. By the way, the night my husband and I made passionate love by candlelight, WE MADE A BABY. I’M PREGNANT. Beautiful things can happen.
This letter from Michael shows that persistence can pay off.
I must write to you to let you know your information on the Light Her Fire program has saved my marriage and kept my family together. We had been separated for a year. I had tried everything I knew without success. I got the tapes and started telling her all the things I know and felt but rarely said. Keep in mind that we were headed for our final court hearing to end our marriage.
I just started to hug and hold her and tell her that she meant more to me than anything or anybody. She would tell me to stop, but I would listen to you, not her.
A call one night that blew me away. She calls me and said she wants to see me. Keep in mind that this is the woman that would not go to coffee, dinner, or a movie and said she never would.
Well, we not only have been out to dinner and a movie, but our sex life had been better than it’s ever been in the thirteen years we have known each other.
After a time when it seemed things were going well, I gave her the Light His Fire program which she is listening to as well.
I know being a woman, you want all the details, but being a man, I must be brief
Who says women can’t be brief? This letter from Linda was short and sweet.
I recently ordered your Light His Fire/Light Her Fire tapes, and I must tell you that after listening to only the first tape, my husband and I had a honeymoon night as if we were twenty year old newlyweds. We have been married for about 15 years, (second marriage for both) and I thought that my lack of sexual interest was due to the onset of menopause (47 years old). This, however, is not so, and you have proven it. I am familiar with the principles your speak about throughout the tapes, but unfortunately, I never integrated them into a daily routine.
Your audios have reminded me to constantly be aware of these guidelines and principles. To apply them often, means to make a difference for people who matter in my life. You are truly a genius in the field of human relations. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
The following letter always brings tears to my eyes. Hal reminds us all that we never know how much time we have left to love our mate the way they deserve to be loved.
I was divorced in June and bought your program one month later. I started listening to your tapes and they were working. I was back living with my wife, even though she hadn’t listened to her set yet. Then on August 24th, she drowned in a river near Cody, Wyoming. I want to thank you so much for the tapes. If my wife had not drowned we would have been married again. I know now that our lives would have been better than before because of your program. After she passed away I found out that she was planning a trip for two to Tahiti. Thank you for the little time we had together before she passed away.
I know that every one of you reading this blog will have the opportunity to touch someone’s life in some way. It’s the reason I’ve written it.
For those of you who have not read LIGHT HIS FIRE, LIGHT HER FIRE, or IS THERE SEX AFTER KIDS?, don’t worry. We’ll start off together from here. Those of you that have read my blogs or listened to my programs will recognize some of the life changing concepts that I’ve presented in the past. However, the purpose of this blog is to take you to a new level of awareness. After all, many years have passed since I first presented my life changing information. I’ve experienced, learned, taught, heard and seen so much in that period of time.
After 25 years of teaching about relationships, raising three wonderful children to adulthood and having a 31 year love affair with my husband, I believe that I have valuable information to share with you. I can say with absolute certainty that the secrets of a rich, loving, sensual relationship are within your reach. You and your mate can be lovers, not for a few months or those brief youthful years, but for life.
There is so much warmth, dignity, encouragement, comfort and fun in a relationship where you are never too busy to be there for each other. You too can experience a love that is so deep and complete that no crisis will ever tear you apart. your relationship is the most important aspect of your life and you are going to learn how to Keep It
Something Special (KISS).
Allow me the joy of intensifying your resolve, stretching your imagination, and exploring more options and possibilities than you ever dreamed possible. So let’s begin a journey together that, in the end, will give you nurturing love, sensuality, passion, excitement and a zest for tee.
Proven Techniques To Create A Meaningful & Lasting Marriage